


now it's time to dream

by EllieLovesYou



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Child Death, F/M, Stillbirth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-05 06:36:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5365082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieLovesYou/pseuds/EllieLovesYou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>his voice cracks and a tear slips down his cheek, his hand squeezes her own tightly “he was blue and so quiet”</p>
            </blockquote>





	now it's time to dream

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is.

The door creaks open and the light from the hall pours in, he doesn’t even flinch. He can hear her rummaging around the room, probably drunk, and after a few seconds the bed dips ad her hair flies out and tickles his arm. He doesn’t move.

“Scott?” she slurs out, her voice thick with sleep

“yeah”

“I’m sorry”

He flips over on his side and pulls her close, laying a kiss on her head “I know” he wraps an arm around her and tucks the blanket in, then pushes her hair out of her face “go to bed”

“I love you”

“I know”

He doesn’t.

 

-

 

“why don’t you leave her?”

He sighs and puts down the coffee cup in his hand—people asked him this all the time, it had grown tiresome to hear. Especially when they knew what his answer would be.

“I love her”

“Scotty, loving her isn’t enough if she’s gonna keep going on like this” Scott swishes the coffee around in his cup and refuses to lock eyes with his friend  who looks on with concern, like they all did “The kids need a good mom”

“She loves them”

“that isn’t enough”

Scott doesn’t say anything—he lived on the principle that it was enough, that all you needed was love. Giving that up meant giving up on everything he knew.

So he just never says anything.

 

-

 

“Hey” the toddler looks over at him with wide eyes, and a large smile “Morning, love” he reaches in her crib and plucks her out with ease, kissing her head as soon as she’s settled on his hip.

“Daddy?”

He looks to see his older daughter looking at him, she’s the spitting image of her mother “Hey, baby”

“Where’s mommy?”

“Work” that’s a lie, she never came home “But how about we go and make some pancakes for breakfast, huh?”

Her bright smile is enough to get him through the day—even when she still doesn’t come home till 1 in the afternoon.

 

-

 

“You need help” she looks up at him, they’re at the breakfast table and their two girls are in the living room happily distracted by the T.V. “You can’t keep going out and—“ he takes a breath “Lydia I never know where you are and it scares me”

“I don’t need help” she bites out “I’m grieving”

“Lydia—he was my son too. I lost him too. Haley and Leah lost their brother too. You weren’t the only one who lost him”

“I’m the only one acting like he existed though” she’s angry, her eyes are filled with a rage he’d seen so often since—since that morning.

“No one can grieve right when we have to worry if you’re gonna go out and drink yourself to death”

“I’m not doing this” she pushes her plate away from herself, and stands up “I’m leaving”

He doesn’t try to stop her.

 

-

 

“It’s been two days”

“I came at her too hard—she’s getting over it”

“Scott, she’s going to hurt herself or someone else if she doesn’t get help or if she doesn’t see how this is hurting your marriage”

His shoulders sag “She knows”

Allison rests a hand on his shoulder “And?”

“She doesn’t care”

 

-

 

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, babe?” he’s cooking eggs and bacon while Leah sits in her high chair banging her toys at the tray and Haley sits at the table coloring

“When’s mommy coming home?”

“Um, I don’t know baby” he turns around and leans against the counter “But she’ll come back soon”

She cocks her head to the side, her strawberry blonde curls falling from her face “How do you know?”

“Because” he smiles softly at her “She will always come back”

 

-

 

She does come back. Four days later.

He feels the bed dip and he can smell the place she had been at, the smell rolling off her clothes. She smells like smoke and, like, someone just dumped a bottle of cheap booze on her shirt.

“I’m home”

“yeah” he doesn’t look over at her, he doesn’t wrap her up and kiss her, he just looks at the wall.

“that’s it?” she’s hurt, he can hear it in her voice.

“yeah”

Yeah, he thinks, that’s it.

 

-

 

He wakes up before her and that doesn’t surprise him—she still reeks of a drunken night out and, well, in this case a drunken four nights out. He tucks her in after seeing her sprawled out and kisses her forehead.

Gently walking around the room, he throws his clothes in a bag, walks to his daughters’ bedrooms and does the same, wakes them, puts them in the car and drives to Allison’s home.

Lydia doesn’t wake up for another four hours to see her whole family was gone.

 

-

 

“She called” Scott looks up at Allison, who’s leaning against the doorway “Crying and worried”

“Are you mad?” he never thought he would leave her, ever but when she had come home and acted like nothing had happened? He couldn’t stay, not another day.

“At her” she walks over and plops herself on the couch looking at her goddaughter who sleeping sounds cuddled up next to her father “She had a really good thing going here”

“We lost him” he tugs his daughter closer “and she lost it”

“She doesn’t get to give up on everything—she doesn’t get to stop being a mother, a human because she lost him. You’re still here and you didn’t get to mourn your son because she wanted to get drunk. I love her, I do but she needs this wakeup call”

Scott wants to cry at that moment.

 

-

 

“I want to see them, Allie”

“Who?”

“My girls! My husband”

Allison looks her up and down “No”

“What? Why?”

“You’re a drunk—they don’t need to see you like this anymore than they already have”

She hugs herself and scoffs “Allison, he’s my husband, those are my babies and—“

“Act like it then” she never had to be this friend with Lydia before, she never needed this tough love before “Get sober and you can see them”

“Allison—“

“Goodbye, Lydia” she shuts the door without a second thought and turns around. Scott’s in the living room and he heard every word, Haley’s just a few feet away and she doesn’t even react.

 

-

 

“Talk to me like I’m a stranger” he looks over at Allison like she’s crazy

“What?”

“You need to talk about him—all about him, every moment, and every second so talk to me like I know nothing”

They’re sitting on the couch and both girls are upstairs sleeping “Allison I don’t think that’s a good idea”

“c’mon—you need this”

“Allie” he looks over at her and his resolve crumbles at her wide brown eyes filled with concern and love “Okay” she moves more so she’s facing him and hugs her knees to her chest and lays her chin on the tops of her knees

“go”

He sighs and shifts “I—I don’t know where to start”

“The beginning”

“Well, that’s, um—well, Leah was just about 3 months old. Lydia came home and she was crying and crying and crying and I asked ‘what’s wrong?’ and she dug something out of her pocket and threw it at me and—“ he smiles “and says ‘your damn sperm is what’s wrong’ and I look to see a positive pregnancy test”

Allison cocks her head and listens closely “There was never a problem and then Lydia looks over at me when she’s 38 weeks and 2 days pregnant and says ‘there’s something wrong’ and I thought she was just being paranoid but she’s convinced there is something wrong because he’s not kicking anymore” his eyes are shiny “so that morning I call you and I take her to the doctor after dropping the kids off with you and—“ his voice cracks, and Allison finds his hand and holds it tightly “And they tell us that he—that he’s gone”

She doesn’t say a word.

“Th—they said they don’t know why it happened that it just—that it just happens sometimes” his fighting off tears “they induced her and she gave birth to o-our son but he—he wasn’t—“ his voice cracks and a tear slips down his cheek, his hand squeezes her own tightly “he was blue and so quiet”

She unwraps herself and crawls over to him, not wasting a second in holding him close and tight “Shh”

“Oh god—“ he lets out a sob into her shirt and grips her arms “he was so quiet” Allison feels he heart break—she had heard the story drunken slurred from Lydia’s lips but Scott? He never got the chance to sob and tell the story—the story of how he felt seeing his son so blue “And, Allie, he was so— _cold_ but I held him and—“ his breath hitches “and when we got home Lydia, she…she just wasn’t the same”

“I got you” she strokes his hair

“And it’s been s-six months and I—I don’t know what to do”

Allison doesn’t either.

 

-

 

“He cried”

“What?” they’re at a coffee shop—Allison agreed to meet with Lydia being Scott wouldn’t even pick up her calls.

“I know you were mad because he hadn’t—“ she swallowed any anger she had “Because he hadn’t shown much emotion towards losing him but, last night, he cried”

“He hadn’t cried since he was born”

“You never gave him the chance, Lydia” she grips her cup, tightly “He couldn’t mourn his son because his wife was out god knows where leaving him to try and make their two young daughters understand what happened to their baby brother—he didn’t get to mourn when he was busy making sure no one would have to mourn you”

“What are you talking about? He never came for me, at any bar”

She scoffs “You were too drunk to notice but he always came for you. He would call Stiles or Malia or me and he would go looking for you. Every night—he needed to make sure you got home”

“But—“

“Yeah, he stopped because Haley woke up in the middle of the night and was scared when she only saw me and not her mommy or daddy. But he knew where you went and all the bartenders had his number so if you were there, they’d text him and Scott always paid a cab for you”

Lydia looks down and refuses to look up “he lost his son, Lydia and he didn’t want to lose his wife too”

“I—“

“I know but until you get help—I’m not going to let Scott hurt himself or those girls anymore by continuing to put up with this”

Lydia doesn’t say anything even when Allison gets up and leaves—she can’t get those words out of her head.

_he didn’t get to mourn when he was busy making sure no one would have to mourn you_

 

-

 

No one hears from Lydia for two weeks and it has Scott on edge but then she shows up at the door. Allison answers and for once, in the past six months, her eyes are clear and she doesn’t look like she’s nursing a hangover.

“this doesn’t mean I’m better” she says softly

“You’re trying though” Allison smiles and opens the door wider “C’mon”

 

-

 

Scott’s afraid that she’s going to be mad, that she’s going to divorce him and take the girls but when she walks in and locks eyes with him? She just goes over and wraps her arms around his neck and presses her cheek against his own

“I’m sorry” her words are muffled but he can feel the tears coming down her face, falling on his own “I love you and I’m sorry”

He hugs her back and buries his nose in her hair “I love you too”

 

-

 

She’s officially sober for a full two months before Scott moves back in with the girls.

 

-

 

“Mommy?” Haley asks looking up at her mother, who was tucking her in for the first time in a long time

“Hmm?”

“Are you going to go away again?”

Lydia’s heart breaks—she had pulled away from her own children and made them assume she was always going to leave. She wasn’t even sure if Leah knew who she was anymore.

She kisses her daughter’s forehead and forces herself to not cry “I’m never going away again”

“Daddy said you would always come back to us”

Lydia smiles and cups her daughter’s cheek “Daddy’s a very smart man, baby—I will always come back to you”

 

-

 

“we’ve never been here together” Lydia comments as they both sit in the snow covering the ground. She’s been sober 5 months and she can safely say that not drinking is one of the best thing she’s even done since her son died.

“yeah—we should’ve come sooner”

She squeezes his hand “I’m sorry”

“Don’t be”

“We lost a lot of time” he moves over and pulls her against him and kisses her head, while they both looked at the stone in front of them

“we have all the time in the world to make it up”

“Do you think he’s with us?” her voice is small and scared like he’ll say no

“Always—he’s always with us, looking after his mommy and his sisters. He’s our protector”

“yeah” she smiles and allows a tear to fall down her face “he is isn’t he?” she traces the words on the stone and feels like for the first time—she can breathe.

_Alexander Jude McCall_

_Son and Brother_

**_Our star in the sky.._ **

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah? Comment, maybe?


End file.
